Jim Jackman

as Rutherford B. Hayes

as Kidnapper

as Santa Claus (uncredited)

as Principal Vegas

as Melvin

as Lucky Brassiere / Joey Carbone / Thumb in Stall

as (voice)

as Humpy / Baker / Brother

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Jish / Nice Old Lady / Crotchety Fisherman (voice)

as Detail Supervisor

as Police Chief / Criminal #1 / Terrified Man (voice)

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Baby and Sex Change Barker / 'I Can't Swim!' (voice)

as Bus Driver

as Nervous Guy

as Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Pig (voice)

as Desperate Mailman

as Shorty

as Hockey Fan

as Paul

as Venetta

as Landlord

as Man

as Mike Milken

as Party Guest

as Orderly #1

as Plugsy (voice)

as Major Asshole

as Security Guard